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My Dad is the rockin'-est dad!



He has been asking me when am I going to go out and get the New Harry Potter Book.



I am like, uhm I dunno.





So today he's like.. you have mail. Yes of course it was junk mail. Then he throws a box at me.



HE BOUGHT IT!!!!!





I want to read it, but then I don't.

I know something bad happens.

I know I am going to cry.



But I must read it!

I miss having a man in my life.



I had a dream of sleeping, feeling someone slide next to me, brushing the hair from the side of my face and kissing me softly on the forehead.



I miss that so much.



The touch.

The feelings.

The connection.

The intimacy. (not just sexual)

Just being together.





I’ve put myself in this situation; I can’t blame anyone but myself. I have so many things go on within me, I just feel to be deprive of that is the only way to achieve what I need to. I’ve walled myself in. I try to shut emotions off of that nature, sometimes it doesn’t work. I ignore them, never acting on them. I am sure it sounds totally and utterly ridiculous. I cannot complicate someone when I am in so much complication.



That within it self seems like everything would be failure.



I want to reach out.

I want to make the dream a reality.



It’s a struggle to trust, to let go.

If only it was easier to get past all my personal complications.





I am sure the longing will pass.

I thought I was okay with being alone.

I guess I’m really not.

:sigh:



FortunateFool has found me out.



I secretly watch her intently through that pic.





♥



lol

People never cease to amaze me.



Or sicken me for that matter.